no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
