I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize