i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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