What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
