I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
