Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We smell like vodka and hangover
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