i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
There's even glitter on my cock...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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