Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
