She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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