she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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