Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
