goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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