I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
