he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
