how can u be prego again
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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