I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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