Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
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There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
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If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize