Christians are straight up FREAKS
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
