I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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