I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
