They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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