you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
