i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
