Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
