Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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