We're like a lot better than the average bears
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
