for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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