i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
