i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
