you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
