im drinking this country out of the recession.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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