that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
