I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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