Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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