It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
