this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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