Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
