make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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