Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
