we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think a kid would responsible me up
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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