I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
