the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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