I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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