u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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