Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
