I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
