so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
