Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
