I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
