so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
