I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
