real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
