I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you would pick up someone in the library
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You need a sexual gate keeper
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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