you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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