So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
