Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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