somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
