they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
