so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
