I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
