I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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