Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
