I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wear drunk well.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
