Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
